that's me - Stephanie Boman!

Friday, September 18, 2009

If a writer falls in the forest

The isolated writer is an iconic image...just think of Emma Thompson in Stranger Than Fiction (which depicts all writerly angst quite well) sitting in that big, empty, stark apartment waiting for inspiration. I often muse why writers have to be so isolated, and I know my family certainly wonders, too. Does the general public understand the writer's hermitage? Behold, I bring you... The Top Ten Reasons Writer's Need to be Alone

1. Let's just get to the pajama thing right away. Until opening the door to the UPS man at three in the afternoon in Hello Kitty jammies becomes an accepted social norm, it's best we hide it from the public view.

2. So no one sees our surreptitious snacking habits. Oreo Bites. Skittles. Jelly Bellys. Insert bad food of choice here.

3. Because others already think we're strange, we don't need to provide more evidence as we try out gestures, facial expressions and sounds (what exactly would an alien chortling in a wind storm sound like?) to see if they ring true.

4. So our true work habits aren't discovered, ahem, including all those quick trips to FB, email and You Tube we make during "writing time".

5. Because professional help would be sought if they really knew how much crying goes on.

6. So no one sees us head banging the keyboard, thus discovering the real reason why the Q through P keys are always going wonky.

7. B.O.

8. Hair freakier than a porcupine with a perm.

9. For the Sounds of Silence.

10. Because the deal we made with the devil gave us great imaginations on the condition that the fruits thereof could only be brought forth in solitary confinement.

Did I miss any?


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